Reasons, Numbers & Those Pesky Feelings
by aqualina
Summary: Five reasons for why going out with Ami would be a very Bad Idea. Not that he's actually thinking of doing so, of course. Right? Ami/Zoi
1. He Likes Me, He Likes Me Not

**Reasons, Numbers & Those Pesky Feelings**

Title: He Likes Me, He Likes Me Not...  
Pairing: Ami/Zoi

Word Count: 1370

Summary: Five reasons Ami thinks Zachary Atwood may be interested in her. Like, _that_ kind of interested. Well, sort of.  
Author's Note: This is AU. Basically Ami and Zach are both attending a (uniform-required; hence the tie mentioned in story) boarding school students who work on the literary magazine together. The five reasons are not really connected, but I think 'four' actually mentioned something from 'one'. If this seems confusing, don't sweat about it; the background doesn't play that big a role in this fic. Enjoy the story!

&_one._

She's pretty sure that he spends at least one-tenth of all his conversations with her staring at her legs.

After many hours of debates in her head, three pages of hurried scrawling, and two pages of equations, she's decided that she's twenty-four point two seven percent okay with this.

&_two._

They are assigned to be partners in an assignment for the school literary magazine

He strolls over to her, "So how are we going to write this essay, Infallible？"

She chokes on the bite of biscuit she is quietly chewing, "Wh-What did you call me?" Looking up, she sees his trademark smug smirk. _Git. _(She'll ruminate on the fact that she uses too much British English another day.)

He is perfectly unruffled by her surprised outburst, "Cucumbers, Infallible, cucumbers." Now she looks at him like he's gone completely bonkers. (And maybe he has, she silently mutters.) She raises one inky blue eyebrow condescendingly and calmly stares at him. Very. Calmly.

He waves one hand nonchalantly, as if to dismiss the whole matter. "The essay, Infallible."

She _will_ demand and receive an explanation from him one day, but for now she will yield and brainstorm with him on the essay.

-

She spends an unhealthy amount of time pondering over his nickname for her when she works on the essay. Or rather, the presently non-existent essay. Her computer screen is completely blank save for one line, "Infallible? Infallible! _Infallible?!!!_" She scowls at the blinking cursor as she presses the "Backspace" key with a vengeance. A few seconds later, facing a completely blank screen, she gives up on writing the stupid essay and grabs her purse to go to Mina's.

Just as she prepares to knock, a thought hits her. _He couldn't be... _She purses her lips and vehemently denies the new theory. _But, he could be... Well, sort of. Kind of. Vaguely. Interested. Like, _that_ kind of interested._ But she does not like this new development in her theories so she abruptly cuts off her train of thought and knocks on Mina's door.

Mina is wearing that infinitely smug grin of hers when Ami quickly delineates the situation. When she finishes, the self-proclaimed Goddess of Love gives her The Look. As in the please-don't-tell-me-you're-so-much-of-an-idiot-that-I-actually-have-to-_explain_-this-to-you-look. As in the what-do-you-think?-of-course-it's-_that_-theory-look.

Mina's response is short and to the point, "He's interested in you." And her look plainly says, _Yes, _that _kind of interested_.

&_three_

They argue. A lot.

Or as Mina patronizingly says, "_Banter. _The accurate word is _banter_." And then she gives Ami yet another of her please-tell-me-you're-smarter-than-this-looks. And after that, she launches into a rather passionate tangent on the differences between the two. Ami just tunes her out. Mina notices this and gives her a saucy smirk, "_Flirtatious_ banter, maybe?" She grins in satisfaction as a blush suffuses her friend's face.

-

"Of _course_ he has good fashion sense! His scarves are brilliant!" Ami argues heatedly. She steps out of the newsroom and into the hallway with her partner. She stares pointedly at him, "Well, what do _you_ think?"

He blinks at her, then pronounces haughtily, "_I _think that having a conversation with _me _about the fashion choices of an imaginary character is pathetic, Infallible." He snorts, "Not to mention the fact that the character is from _Gossip Girl, _of all shows."

She scowls at him (and ignores the nickname), "I know for a fact that you have watched every episode of the show."

He caves and offers his opinion after a few more seconds of her unyielding gaze, "Chuck Bass' fashion sense is deplorable. The scarf never matches any other part of his outfit!"

"That's why the scarves are perfect! They show his originality!"

"What originality? They're just another mismatched piece of his outfit!"

"Mismatched is just part of who he is. I mean, Nate always sticks to the boring school uniform in his cookie-cutter boring, boring, _boring_ way, but Chuck has _charisma_." She stoutly defends her beloved character.

"Charisma? Please. His cashmere scarves are just an excuse for his lack of fashion sense."

"No! They reflect who he is as a person. The scarves are always fun and colorful, which reflects his living on the edge, but they're cashmere, so that shows that he's got a good heart after all, even if he is afraid to show it..." When she finishes her in-depth analysis of Chuck's scarves and his character, Zach is shaking his head slightly, chuckling softly to himself, "Jeez, Infallible. Most people just watch the show for the melodrama or the clothes or whatever." He gestures towards her, "Only you would think of psycho-analyzing a character based on his choice of clothes. God, Infallible, you need--"

He's got this undefinable look on his face when he stares straight at her and suddenly the hallway is _spinning_, spinning around her and she breathlessly finishes his sentence for him, "To get a date?"

And just like that, he's back to his psychotic jackass mode. He adjusts his uniform's tie and replies haughtily, "I was going to say get out more, but you obviously know what you so desperately need."

She rolls her eyes at him, not bothering to stop the insult that comes out, "Git."

His smile is purely roguish as he bends down slightly towards her, "Would you like a date?" They freeze like that for about five seconds (no, she was _not_ counting) until she pushes the words out of her mouth, "No, of course not." He grins cheekily as he straightens up, "Of course. I'd imagine that having a date with you would be quite torturous." And with that he saunters away.

She shouts to his back, "I happen to like guys who are nice, thank you very much!"

Although, now that she thinks of it, she should have said something like, "I'd rather give away my book collection than go out with you!" At this thought, she bangs her head against her AP Economics textbook.

"Damn it!"

&_four_

They have this little, slightly more than occasional speaking-in-unison thing.

"Pecksniffian? What was our darling editor-in-chief thinking?" Zach complained.

"Thing is, he wasn't thinking." Ami grumbled, more than a little annoyed by the editor-in-chief's article. "But the word 'Pecksniffian' sounds so familiar."

Zach frowned, "Actually, it does sound extremely familiar. Like..."

She bit her lower lip, deep in thought. Her face cleared as she thought of something, "Wait!"

They spoke in unison, "_Martin Chuzzlewit_!"

They stared at each other then, both surprised by the coincidental harmony in their speech. And she couldn't deny that when he looked at he just then, the crooked smile on his face was just for her.

&_five_

She's always the only one to get a slice of the (much-coveted) raspberry white-chocolate cheesecake his mother sends him once a month.

She digs in with a hurried thank you when he hands her this month's cheesecake just before breakfast. After a mouth-full of the deliciousness, she looks up to see Zach laughing at her, "I think you're the only girl who dares to eat this stuff."

She sends him a dirty glare as she savors the flavors floating in her mouth. She swallows quickly, "I'm underweight anyways." She notices him looking over her appraisingly as she finishes her next heavenly bite and reminds herself that she's twenty-seven point two four percent okay with this. (Or was it twenty-four point two seven percent?)

He watches her eat greedily for a few moments in (surprisingly companionable) silence before she speaks up, "Tell your mom that I love her." She nods furiously as she continues gushing, "I love her truly, passionately, and sincerely for the rest of my life." A pause. "And her absolutely _incredible_, too-fantabulous-for-words cheesecake as well, of course."

He just chuckles at her antics. After a few more moments of watching her eat greedily, he stands up and bows mockingly,"Given the fact that I have faithfully delivered thy beloved treasure to thee, I shall be on my way." He smirks,"Lastly, a few warm wishes and words of wisdom: Don't choke on the cheesecake."

He laughs when she starts choking immediately at his words, "See you in class, Infallible."

The smirk he wears on his way to class is decidedly very smug.

----------

---_Next: _"Any Other Woman On Earth" -- Five reasons for why going out with Ami would be a very Bad Idea. Not that he's actually thinking of doing so, of course. Right?

Ramblings of the Author: So how did you like it? Which was your favorite? The least favorite? Is it worth continuing? Any constructive criticism? laughs I don't mean to bombard y'all with questions, but I'm a bit nervous about this piece and would lovelovelove feedback. ♥, aminitna.


	2. Do Not! Do Too!

**Reasons, Numbers & Those Pesky Feelings**

Title: Do not! Do too!  
Pairing: Ami/Zoi  
Genre: shameless fluff!  
Summary: One way Zachary Atwood might have learned of the not-so-platonic feelings of one Ami Mizuno.

It's been a very nice day for Ami Mizuno. She hums as she types the end of the article and saves her document on her USB disk with a smile on her face. Her mind's eargerly thinking of her upcoming weekend of relaxation--hanging out with the girls, enjoying Lita's fantastic cooking, ignoring Mina's love advice... Her computer screen fades to black and she picks up her books to leave, a catchy tune still on her lips.

She strolls out of the lit mag room, books in hand, only to encounter a sight that makes the cheery notes die on her lips.

Today is not a nice day, she abruptly decides as she glares at the couple making out in front of her.

It's Zachary and some, some... "Stupid skank" are the first two words that come to mind to describe the peroxide blonde hanging to her lab partner. She's slightly shocked at her inner rudeness, but the shock is quickly replaced by dangerous white-hot streaks of anger flitting through her mind.

Before she can even begin to understand what she's doing, she shouts at the girl in anger, "Get off of him, you skank!"

The moment the uncharacteristic words are out of her mouth, a crimson blush suffuses her entire face and all she wants to do is sink into a deep, dark hole somewhere far, far away.

The peroxide blonde turns to give her a strange look, before whispering to Zach in a sultry voice, "Call me..." and strutting away.

Her blush, if possible, turns an even darker shade of red as Zach turns to look at her, his face flooded with shock. "Ami？ What just happened? Are you...?" Suddenly, comprehension dawns on him and a giddy grin spreads over his face, "You like me! Ami Mizuno, the self-proclaimed Ice Queen, likes me!"

His grin is equal amounts of smug and taunting and she fights to get the indignant words out of her mouth (she still has _some _dignity left), "I do _not_!"

"Do too! Do too!" He pranced around, completely oblivious to her lethal glare.

"Do not!" She denied forcefully.

"Do too!"

"Do not!"

"Do too!"

"Argh! This is pointless--I'm going back to my dorm!" Ami almost yelled in frustration. She got a better grip on the heavy bundle of books she was carrying and stalked away.

As she reached the end of the hallway, she heard the distinct sound of _someone _shouting, "Do too!"

AN: Okay, I've been a totally crappy updater and I'm incredibly sorry. (And I'm sorry about the length of this thing.) It's just that everything's been incredibly hectic (with me averaging 4 hours of sleep every night and 2-3 tests a day). I'm so sorry. Good news is...There are four more scenerios to come and what I promised in the first segment--Zach's opinion of Ami. Plus, a special shout-out to two special reviewers: **spud **(who left me an incredibly sweet review) and **Connie **(who e-mailed me)! Thanks aeons to both of you _and _to all of the wonderful, wonderful individuals that have reviewed, put my stories on story alert, or even added my story to their favorites list.

As always, feedback is appreciated and keep an eye out for new (longer, hopefully) installments coming soon! -**xoxo, aminitna**


	3. Any Other Woman on Earth

#3：Any Other Woman On Earth

Title: Any Other Woman On Earth  
Pairing: Ami/Zoi

Word Count: 1184

Summary: Five reasons for why going out with Ami would be a very Bad Idea. Not that he's actually thinking of doing so, of course. Right?

Author's Note: This is AU. These five reasons are sort of a continuation of the first five, except from Zach's point of view. A few incidents from the first chapter are mentioned.

-

He catches her in a heated conversation with their editor-in-chief about The Brothers Karamazov, adamantly insisting that the oldest son is a manifestation of the worst kind of evil existent. He sees her gesticulating wildly, moving her arms up and down to emphasize her points, and he glimpses the titles of the books in her arms--there is the June edition of Businessweek, Hemingway's For Whom the Bell Tolls, and the AP Calculus textbook.

As a rule, he does not date girls who use four-syllable words often, much less ones who use five-syllable (and often obscure) words on a daily basis. He does not date girls who take advanced math classes two years before they're supposed to. The girls he does date do not read Russian literature a second before they have to, and they most certainly do not spend any of their free time arguing about it.

So there's that.

"So what do you think?" She catches up with him quickly, tilting her head up to meet his eyes.

He snorts softly, "I, like most normal people, do not spend my free time reading college material years before I need to and arguing about it. I have better things to do, Infallible."

He can tell she doesn't buy a word of it from the suspicious glint in her eyes, "I know you finished 'The Brothers Karamazov' and wrote your term paper on it." She smiles triumphantly at the horrified look on his face.

The horrified look is quick to change into a scowl as he grumbles, "How did you know about the term paper?" He doesn't like the smug look on her face at all.

"Why, from dear Ms. Hamish, of course! She was so thrilled with your book report that she showcased it to her entire advisor group."

He groans, "That woman is going to ruin my reputation someday."

But she ignores his further mumblings and pries around for more information, "So what do you think?"

"Well..." And they launch into a heated, academic debate.

Which is exactly why he doesn't date really smart girls interested in Literature and Economics and way too many other things to count, like Ami Mizuno-Anderson is. The way he sees it, if he really does date girls like that, then dates would soon become academia-infested tomes of boredom. Even if he did enjoy that little debate with her quite a lot.

-

The girl has a very, very warped fashion sense. Seriously. He really doesn't mean to sound like some blase New Yorker (even though he was born and raised in the Upper East Side), but everyone at least knows that the school uniform is only mandatory on weekdays. And everyone abides by the unwritten rule that says no one is to wear school uniforms on weekends, except one Ami Mizuno-Anderson, who just happens to wear her school uniform every single day of the week, every single week of the month.

Sometimes he suspects her idea of high fashion is black Armani pantsuits. He knows she's never read a fashion magazine in her entire life, even though Mina has a huge stack of them in their dorm. In fact, he's pretty sure that she heard about Armani from Mina, instead of checking herself. It seems like she just doesn't pay any attention to how she looks.

It's not as if she doesn't have potential--she's already got this nymph-like prettiness in her delicate features, but she just doesn't make the effort. She doesn't wear any makeup on weekdays or on weekends, she practically never wears any jewelry, and she doesn't seem to care that she could be quite pretty if only she made just a little bit of effort. But she obviously doesn't make any effort or even a vestige of trying to make any effort. He suspects that she probably wouldn't get dressed up even for a date.

So there. That makes strike two.

-

So maybe he is being more than a little categorical when he thinks of her as a teacher's pet at times, but he knows he's right. When he went through her file as an administrative assistant back in sophomore year, he saw more than just a fair share of compliments from teachers. There simply were no bad words from the teachers about her--from her first grade teacher's glowing report of "Ami is a wonderful angel--quiet, studious and kind" to her current adviser Ms. Hamish's (who he still resents over the "Brothers Karamazov" book report leak) gushing raves of "an all-around outstanding student with strong and meaningful extracurricular activities and a even stronger academic record", the teachers all adored her.

He supposed that it wasn't altogether that fair of him to hold something like teacher-adoration over her, but... Honestly, the recommendations were nothing less than full-blown raves, and he personally penciled in the handy little rule saying "No dating teacher's pets" in the dating handbook last year.

He will be a little more lax with this one, because it was him who invented the rule in the first place--

Strike two and a half, then.

-

She has the weirdest obsessions.

The last time he saw her, she was balancing three monolithic tomes from the library (that probably haven't been checked-out in a millennium and then some), a sketch of Einstein and a digital camera, which just serves to show her plethora of obsessions and hobbies. Her many, many interests never fail to befuddle him, especially when he knows that the first three on her list are Einstein, monolithic tomes and...chesecake. Right.

He doesn't really mean to trash a dead guy's fashion sense, but as a self-declared grooming guru, he feels the necessity of the task. Honestly, not even one poor fashion-retarded soul can really deny that Albert Einstein's hair seriously needed some grooming. Not to even mention those eyebrows and that decidedly unflattering portrait sketch of him. But, fashion issues aside, it really is just plain weird for a teenage girl, albeit an already quirky girl-genius in a prep school, to be obsessed with someone who has already joined those not on the side of the living.

Most girls admire models, or actors or at least people still alive.

But he won't count this one against her, because well, even he, Zachary Atwood, was known to have had an odd crush or two back in the day.

-

The most inexplicably odd thing is, in spite of her over-enthusiasm over academia, her warped fashion sense, her goody-two-shoes tendencies, and even her eccentric obsessions--yes, in spite of all of that, he finds Ami Mizuno-Anderson oddly...interesting. If he had to be really honest with himself (which he never was, thank God), he might even admit that he found the girl to be quite fascinating.

The wheels of her academia-powered mind turning was a joy to witness and an undeniable challenge.

Her lack of fashion sense somehow let her natural delicate prettiness shine through.

But most of all, all of these odd factors combined together, made up a whip-smart, quirky nymph, to whom he felt more and more drawn every day.

_That _made strike three.


End file.
